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A couple of days ago I told my boyfriend that I’d love for him to come home with me for the holidays. You know, meet my parents, my brothers, my dog, the whole deal. Of course in my mind I had been imagining how much fun that would be and what a great gesture on my part. But as the invitation came pouring out of my mouth, my boyfriend started changing before my eyes. It was like with each word he became more zombiefied, each syllable freezing him a little bit more. Kind of like a bad Heroes character that you can’t wait to be written off.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want it to happen, it just freaked him out a little bit. He didn’t want to screw anything up with my parents. And I wondered how many others were going through the same thing. Because when you introduce someone you care about to others you care about you want everyone to like each other, right?

For those who find themselves in the same position this season, I’ve created a few tips on how to create a smooth meet the parents vibe:

• Forewarn everyone about any possible weirdness. For example, maybe your mom has a very special home decorating style that could stop a visitor in their tracks. Make sure to mention this to your man beforehand so he doesn’t burst out laughing as soon as he steps into the house. And if he’s smart, he should compliment your mom on her decorating style. Or, if your man habitually sings in the shower, let your family know so they don’t bust a gut.

• Involve your man in your holiday family traditions but don’t make him feel uncomfortable or like an outsider if he chooses not to participate. If your family eats a particular food to celebrate the holidays but your boyfriend doesn’t like that type of food, just let it be. Everyone has their comfort lines and they should all be respected.

• Speaking of food, make any allergies of dislikes known. It may not sound like a big deal but it will definitely suck if the big family dinner has any hint of shellfish, something that will turn your love into a comatose mess. You want this holiday to be memorable for all the right reasons.

• Allow your boyfriend to miss his family and friends at this time. Sure, he’s with the girl he adores but he could be feeling a tinge of guilt or sadness by not spending this time with his own family. Don’t bash him for feeling this way. Encourage him to call, email or chat online with them. He’ll love you for it, trust me.

• Respect your parents’ home. You may disagree with your mom, dad or grandmother on many things but when it comes down to it, you should respect their wishes at this time, especially if it will make for a more enjoyable visit.

The point is, you want everyone to feel comfortable with each other. Stay true to who you are, remember no one is perfect and everything else will fall into place.

Now, let’s say your man invites you to his home for the holidays. It can still be a scary proposition. We all know that moms have that special bond with their sons and no one is harder on their son’s girlfriends than their mothers. It’s not that they don’t want their sons to be happy; it’s that they want what’s best for them.

Okay, now that you’re all worked up and scared out of your wits, let’s discuss some easy tips on how to best maneuver the meeting the parents for the holidays minefield:

• Manners, manners, manners. I had a male friend of mine tell me once that when he took his girlfriend home to meet his mom for the very first time, his girlfriend called his mom by her first name…not Mrs. Jones, but by her first name. After that his mom affectionately referred to her as “the girl with no manners.” Hey, my brother’s longtime girlfriend still calls my parents by their first names and I cringe every time. And, when eating at the family table try not to eat like you just got out of prison. Be polite, courteous and wait until everyone is seated before you start chowing down. A girl with manners goes a long way.

• Be loving but non-threatening. What I mean by that is try not to come across like “I’m the woman in your son’s life now so out of my way mom” type of thing. You are not the boss of that household (or your man for that matter) so don’t act like it. And as far as displaying PDA in front of the family is concerned, talk to your boyfriend about this first. His family may not be comfortable with it. If they are, don’t take that as a free pass to let the world know how much you dig your man. Affection is fine but keep it to a minimum in front of the family.

• Offer to help around the house. Yes, you are a guest but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show your appreciation and allow his family to wait on you hand and foot. If you enjoy cooking, offer to make one of your dishes or spring for the dessert. If not, offer to help set the table or go grocery shopping or sign up for cleanup duty. I’m not saying it has to come from the kitchen either. You can even help decorate the tree or hang the stockings for that matter. By offering your assistance it shows that you’re willing to be a part of what’s happening and that you’re comfortable in it.

• Put the cell phone down and walk away. If you’ve been welcomed with open arms, the least you can do is reciprocate appropriately by taking a break from talking, texting, tweeting and video chatting with your girlfriends. Sure, it’s cool to call your family, your BFF or check in at work once or twice but in no way are you to spend quality time with his family with your phone attached to your hand, taking calls and sending texts and emails like there’s no tomorrow. Give his family the same consideration they are giving you.

You’re a gorgeous being inside and out. Let the best of you shine and I promise his family will fall in love with you, too.