Oct 31 2009

Date Like a Guy

The other day I was catching up with one of my really good friends. She and her very serious boyfriend of three years had broken up some months ago and she was trying to dip her feet back into the dating pool, so to speak.

It hasn’t been easy for her. Coming off of a three year relationship, thinking it would lead to marriage, she found herself a little anxious. She told me she realized that every guy she went out with, she kept asking herself if he had the potential to be that guy. Is this the first date of many dates with this person? Is the chemistry there? Can I see myself introducing this guy to my family? With thoughts like these on a first date she knew she was in trouble.

So, she told me to combat her way of “dating thinking” she read this book titled How To Date Like A Man. “It’s genius!” she exclaimed, going so far as to say it was the best book she ever read. “Do tell,” was the only response I had. Basically, this little book completely broke down how men and women look at dating. Yes, we already know that there are numerous differences between the sexes, but knowing this hasn’t really changed our female dating habits, has it?Date Like a Guy

Here are a few examples of how men view dating and how we should, too:

1. Men date as many women as possible before choosing their mate, while women try to make that one guy they think is cute into their boyfriend as soon as possible. Why do we do this? We need to learn that it’s okay to date more than one guy at a time until we decide which one is worthy of being our boyfriend (or more). I’m not saying to run around with every guy that walks in your direction just because he’s in your line of sight. But, you shouldn’t shy away from getting to know as many men as you choose to. Date away!

2. Men don’t even think about a woman’s potential, so stop looking for the what-could-be in every guy. Don’t act like you don’t do it. We size them up every time to see what their potential is. Like that diamond in the rough we’ve heard so much about. Look, just take it for what it is at face value and ask yourself if you want to buy and spend a whole hell of a lot of your time on a fixer-upper or would you rather invest in something that’s exactly what you’re looking for?

3. Men don’t know what the word “overanalyze” means, while women worship at its alter. How many times have we called up our best friend to state his comment and then ask “What did he mean by that?” Kind of like that time Big left a message on Carrie’s voicemail in an episode of “Sex and the City” and she played it back a gazillion times trying to figure out its underlying message. Do yourself a favor and stop trying to break everything down. You’re only going to drive yourself and him crazy.

4. A man says what he means, while a woman takes what he says and changes it to benefit her. I once dated this guy who flat out told me that he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, but if it were to happen that he’d be okay with it. Now, all I heard was that he would be okay with it if it were to happen. I didn’t hear the “not looking for a serious relationship” part at all. Yeah, he gave me what I like to call a “hook” and I pretty much bit it. Instead of telling myself there’s no serious relationship to be had here, I told myself not to worry because this will turn into a serious relationship. Did it? Ummm, no. Why? Because he wasn’t looking for one, just like he said!

Yes, there are a lot of differences between men and women, but instead of complaining about them we should be learning from our beloved males. If we dated like men, it would definitely make for a more even playing field, don’t you think?

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Jeanette Fernandez

About the Author

Jeanette is the Founder & Editor in Chief of vidagirl. She lives in Los Angeles, head offices of vidagirl, and is the first female in her family to attend (no pressure or anything) and graduate college. She hopes to look like her Mom when she grows up.

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